The Compassionate Friends Story
Canon Dr Simon Stephens OBE, RN
Founded The Compassionate Friends (TCF) in 1969
The Compassionate Friends (TCF) was founded in Coventry, England in 1969 by Canon Dr Simon Stephens OBE, RN. At the time, he was an assistant to the Chaplain in the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital.
Simon had noticed that the intensity and duration of parental grief was much greater than that of others who lost loved ones. He brought two couples together whose children had died at the same time, hoping that they might comfort one another.
Through their mutual grieving, they discovered that by listening and understanding how the other felt, their grief was lessened and they were able to support and help one another as no one else could.
In time, the couples reached out to other grieving parents and The Compassionate Friends was founded. It grew throughout the United Kingdom and other countries and today has branches across the world which support bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents.
The first Australian branch was started in Melbourne in May 1978 by Margaret and Lindsay Harmer. In 1979, Diane and Brian Dunbar founded TCF in NSW after they heard Simon speak when he visited Melbourne for the inaugural meeting of TCF in Australia.
The Compassionate Friends is a self-help organisation offering friendship and understanding to bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents after the death of their child or children.
Our aims and principles
Our Aims
Offer support and friendship to any sorrowing family
Listen with understanding
Provide group meetings
Give information about the grieving process
Provide acquaintance with bereaved families whose sorrow has softened and who have found fresh hope and strength for living
Promote more understanding among professional, medical, paramedical, police, clergy and teaching persons and the community at large of the plight and special needs of bereaved families
Establish, promote and assist NSW Chapters in their efforts to support bereaved families
Establish and maintain TCF Centres in offering support, refuge, personal contact and referral for all bereaved families
Our principles
Offer friendship and understanding to bereaved families
Understand that bereaved families can help each other
Reach out to all bereaved families irrespective of religion, race, financial status or nationality
Understand that every bereaved family member has individual needs and rights
Help bereaved families primarily through The Pitt Street Centre, metropolitan and country chapters and telephone contacts
Introduce bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents to our Chapters which are established for the benefit of members
The TCF NSW Board co-ordinates the Chapters to enable them to extend help to each other and to individual bereaved family members throughout the State
The Compassionate Friends Credo
We need not walk alone.
We are The Compassionate Friends. We reach out to each other with love, with understanding and with hope. Our children have died at all ages and from many different causes, but our love for our children unites us.
Your pain becomes my pain just as your hope becomes my hope.
We come together from all walks of life, from many different circumstances. We are a unique family because we represent many races and creeds. We are young, and we are old.
Some of us are far along in our grief, but others still feel a grief so fresh and so intensely painful that we feel helpless and see no hope. Some of us have found our faith to be a source of strength; some of us are struggling to find answers. Some of us are angry, filled with guilt or in deep depression; others radiate an inner peace.
But whatever pain we bring to this gathering of The Compassionate Friends, it is pain we will share just as we share with each other our love for our children. We are all seeking and struggling to build a future for ourselves, but we are committed to building a future together as we reach out to each other in love and share the pain as well as the joy, share the anger as well as the peace, share the faith as well as the doubts and help each other to grieve as well as to grow.
We need not walk alone.
We are The Compassionate Friends.