President’s Message

Probably like each of you, I see my life in phases.  Once upon a time, those phases related to my upbringing and then getting married and starting a family of my own, then a period of life in the UK versus my life in Australia.  Now I consider my life in two very different phases, with a very distinct line drawn between a period where my family was intact and that period afterwards, where someone was missing and rightly or wrongly, my mind will often jump between realisations that life was different then.  My philosophy on life is very much that of trying to live in the moment, something professed by all religious and philosophical practices – and yet, unlike every other period of my life – this one drags me back, sometimes with a smile, often with tears, but it was definitely such a monumental rip for my psyche that I can’t see it ever changing.  Sure, we all build our lives around our loss and our grief is a true expression of the love that we carry and will continue to carry for our loved ones, but it will always be there and not just like a distant memory or experience – but rather a piece that is missing.

I have been very fortunate over that last few weeks that I have been able to attend our Gatherings in both Narrabri and Wollongong, where I met some wonderful people who shared stories of love and loss.  And that is something very special.  Very rarely have I gone into an environment and felt, “these people get me”.  Not at a superficial level, where I share the same interests, sporting involvement or professional challenges – but “they get me”.  Not quite the same as good friends, who even then can sometimes struggle with getting me – but these people “get me”.  They see the piece that is missing, acknowledge it, but don’t shy away from it.  Instead they try and support me, in trying to fit the pieces back together, even though we all know, it will never be the perfect outcome where something, someone is missing. 

TCF is a wonderful organisation with people that “get it” and whilst it’s never an organisation any of us would have wanted to belong to, I am grateful for the unique support that we can offer.  There are so many options with various agencies offering support after loss – but the peer support that is created within TCF, is something very special.  But it doesn’t just happen.  To provide this caring, supportive environment, we need time, energy, finance and willing volunteers to continue in creating this special place of acceptance and support – so why not think about volunteering and giving back to the organisation?

We are coming to what for many is a difficult time of year; the holiday period, religious celebrations, the end of one year and the start of another – with all the ramifications that go with each event.  Know that you are not alone.  We “get you”, we support you and we will not let you walk alone.

Hugs to you all.

Chris