Walk to Remember 2023
Walk
Address given by our President at the Walk to Remember 2023
Today is an opportunity to remind the world of our beautiful children, brothers, sisters and grandchildren that were part of this great mystery of life, that shared our lives and brought so much love and happiness into the world.
All too often, our sadness directs us into recollections of our loss and whilst there is no escaping that loss – today is a chance to remember our loved ones and to smile at the memory of those children. To remember how wonderful they were, to remember how amazing they were and to remember how happy they made us, how much love we carried and will always carry for them, and to celebrate their lives. They lived. Sometimes for only a short period, whilst for others a much longer period – but they will always be part of who we are and nothing can ever take that away.
This world is a better place because they lived and the love that we carry for them is greater than anything else.
I would like to share something with you, and whilst the focus is on that of a parental bond – I know an unbreakable bond exists for siblings and grandparents too.
“The Cord”
by Amy Merrick
We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.
It’s not like the cord
That connects us ’til birth
This cord can’t been seen
By any on Earth.
This cord does its’ work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.
I know that it’s there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.
The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can’t be destroyed
It can’t be denied.
It’s stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.
And though you are gone,
Though you’re not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.
It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.
I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A parent and child
Death can’t take that away!
(Abridged)
I have to thank several people for making this day work:
- Cindy Leslie – the NGO and Patrick Dunn Corporate Programs Coordinator, both from the South Eastern Sydney Local Health District for their continued support in supporting our funding applications, and of course to the South Eastern Sydney Local Health District for that funding..
- Wilson Family Funerals for their donation of the bottled water
- Vitality Brands for the sunscreen donation
- Grima Bothers – for the donation of some of the fruit
- Easy Signs for the heart banners
I would also like to say a special thank you to those have helped today:
- Tuva, Maree, Ashlee, Peter, Gail, Angela and Declan
- To all of our marshals and helpers and to all of our other volunteers that give of their time and energy in supporting TCF
- And a special thank you to my right hand ladies – Jo & Joy. Whilst I was off visiting the UK, they held everything together and made sure that today would work and go ahead without a hitch. Thank you
This organisation can’t function without your support and the support of those that understand what we are trying to achieve. This year we have been so fortunate that family and friends have contributed to the GoFund Me Page, in helping to financially support our goals. Thank you to everyone that contributed.
And finally, a thank you all of you, for being part of today.
Thank you for supporting The Compassionate Friends.
Please enjoy the rest of the rest of the afternoon. Share stories of love and the precious lives that have brought you here today and remember that The Compassionate Friends will never let you walk alone.
Walk to Remember Speech - By Ashlee Kaminski, Lance’s sister
Today marks the second annual Walk to Remember. And though I’ve not been a member of The Compassionate Friends for long, I am truly grateful for the people I have met through this organization and especially for the Siblings Group here in Sydney.
I might not sound very Aussie from my accent. My name is Ashlee, and I’m from Canada where I was born, raised and all of my family live. I’ve lived in Australia for over 7 years and I’m very proud to call it home with my Aussie husband, Tom.
Grief is not new to me and I have experienced loss and heartache. I have close people around me as bereaved sibings. My mom is a bereaved sibling, as are my cousins. However, I didn’t know the depths of sibling grief personally until April 6, 2022 when my brother Lance at the age of 29 died suddenly in an accident.
What I’ve learned since then is that losing a sibling is a unique and often isolating experience. Siblings are often our first friends, our partners in crime, our confidants and someone we experience the journey of life with together.
When we lose them, we lose a piece of our own identity, our shared history, and our future dreams. It's a pain that many struggle to comprehend, and we are often referred to as the forgotten mourners.
When Lance died, I spent 4 months in Canada with my family, and arrived back in Sydney in August of last year. Feeling very alone, lost, and struggling with making sense of my grief, I sought out support and was recommended to connect with The Compassionate Friends from a dear friend who is also a bereaved sibling.
Through attending the siblings group, lead by Maree, Marlee and Angela, I found a glimmer of hope within the walls of The Compassionate Friends office where our group meets. This group provides a safe space to share our feelings and experiences, a space where we are understood in a way that few others can truly grasp. This shared understanding is a powerful balm for the soul, one that helps us to navigate the tumultuous waters of grief.
In our group, we are not only free to express our sorrow but also our joy as we reminsce about the cherished moments we shared with our siblings. We talk about their quirks, their laughter, their dreams and their essence, and their legacy. Through these conversations, we honour their memory and keep their spirit alive within us. We share laughter, tears, and the occasional swear word from time to time.
The Compassionate Friends Siblings group offers the opportunity to learn from others who have walked a similar path. We exchange coping strategies, share resources, and gain insight into how to navigate the ups and downs of grief. This knowledge can be a guilding light through the darkest of times. And we recognise that everyone’s journey is unique to them. There are no timelines, no linear path to follow, no platitudes or unhelpful phrases exchanged, and no trying to take our pain away from each other.
Most importantly, this group provides a reminder that we are not alone in our grief. The validation that our feelings are both normal and shared by others is a powerful force in grieving. We are surrouneded by individuals who understand that the love and bond we shared with our siblings are everlasting.
To those who are grieving the loss of a sibling, consider coming to the siblings group in Sydney. And if you know someone who is grieving the loss of a sibling, connect them to the siblings group. It’s a place where your grief can be unburdened, where you can find solace in shared experiences, and where you can forge connections that help you along your grief journey.
Because as The Compassionate Friends Credo says, “You need not walk alone.”